Alright

Alright 

Okay. 

Alright. 

Fine. 

I get it. I get it. 
I understand the whys 
because her passing joke 
became my anxious obsession. 
That anxiety fed your confusion 
and set up a fragile trigger 
that when fired 
would shoot a hole through someone. 
A pity it was me. 

We were all at fault 
but at least she and I 
have been there for each other
even when its hard on 
the conflicting emotions 
of finding our balance. 

I have noticed that I don't tell her about my feelings 
I haven't said that word to her as much 
as I used to. 
I still feel it, but its not the fuel to this fire. 
For from our convos, 
the tinders have snapped and this rage
this boiling and fiery rage 
is focused on you. 

You have chosen to simply wash your hands 
and leave me be. 
You fear me? 
Why? 
Because I nearly relapsed? 
Because of you? 
Never. 

Because of her? 
No way. She would kill me.

I teetered on revisiting
that old wound 
because I am in a hornet's nest 
buzzing and stinging 
with sudden change. 

I mean, 
understand that I don't care 
about the love I once had. 
Its not what I need. 

I need a friend 
and she understands that. 

You fail at it sir
because I am still grasping at the idea 
that it was you? 
You put at risk all our time together
all the adventures
from Time Square to Reddrum Root Beers
all of that 
is now just a fond memory 
because you chose 
a kiss or two 
over a friendship that has lasted 
as long as we've lived. 

You are not the man 
that I once knew. 

Its sad that this is how the friendship 
will crumble 
because you "can't deal." 
When everyone else seems to be doing better
than what you
my so called....best friend 
can. 

Maybe it will come again 
but with your attitude 
of defending that I am the real villain 
in this story...
a monster? The dragon to your St. George? 

Then it never will. Because you choose to 
slay our friendship 
with your own arrogance.