friEND

friEND

It hits me like a high tide surge
where I drown in the unbelievable current 
of broken hearts
dishonesty 
and anxious turbulence of an unseen act. 

Like a snake that I held confidently at arm's reach
I was shocked to find the viper's fangs quickly bite me
and like lighting 
the poison flowed into my blood 
fouling up the heart and mind. 

I try so hard to find balance 
but sometimes I can't focus 
because the venom whispers 
the kiss 
the kiss
the kiss 
Those two sets of lips haunt me 
because it wasn't the woman. 
For once in my life, 
it wasn't the woman. 

She, who told me didn't have restraint, 
only went with it when you 
showed her select evidence
and failed to double check the dubious source you got it from. 

I've gone mad in my isolation 
and it sickens me that she puts up with it. 
and cares 
and understands 
despite the pain and irritation it brings. 

While you, 
you sir, 
tell me you can't as you walk away 
your footsteps tombstones 
on over a decade of friendship 
and reliability. 

Did it not even feel wrong? 
Knowing her last lips were on mine
before I left for my great step? 
That she and I were still in love, 
but distance was fracturing and we were still 
figuring out how to turn it out 
without harm? 

I feel like now, 
I have been condemned to walk now 
as a haunted spirit. 

Simple because, 
you can't deal. 

Yet, 
she still can.