Vague Memories

Vague Memories 

Keep sneaking in 
when I come into emotional dead ends 
between myself and the fairer sex. 

Some say the stars, 
mostly the rings of Saturn 
have some astrological pull 
on my otherwise terrible dating life. 

Others say that I need to filter more often 
and not push so much of myself 
out of the open. 

You know, 
talk about the weather and whats on tv 
than creatures that are either long extinct 
or just a simply fantasy. 

And there are some that say I'm still too young 
which bugs the hell out of me 
since it seems that most everyone I know 
has someone or something that 
keeps them warm 
under the sheets. 

And it is in these moments of doubt
I remember the year 
that dwells in the memories now 
of my heart and soul. 

I remember a lot of the bad, 
but I also remember a lot of the good. 

Maybe my soul 
personality 
and style 
is a bit unorthodox. 

I'm slightly overweight 
and in a constant struggle to improve
my inner as well as my outer self. 

But I get these memories, 
usually of that giggle 
the smile
those eyes that will always remind me 
of fall days in the sun 
cold nights on the beach 
spring songs in the rain 
and summers full of pitfalls and change. 

I don't believe 
that I will ever get her back
and if I did 
I probably wouldn't believe it. 

But she still fell in love with a former me. 
If she could do it once. 

Then someone


someone has to find me 
and I her 

Because who ever it is 
that will one day bring 
a final chapter that turns 
my story 

to our story, 


is probably smiling 
laughing 
and wondering 
like me, 
where the hell am I?