Gimmick

Gimmick 

I have charms 
and a little bit of excitement 
that makes people have a laugh 
or a good time. 

But with all this joy that I know 
I can give to the worlds 
that are not my own, 

I still return to that empty room
where the only stirrings 
are from a moody guinea pig 
and noises of the street below. 

Its a dark room 
with wide open windows
that bring in the neon lights 
of bars and social outings
for the people who are still going

Still going
without me. 

I'm not saying that I am envious 
of those in their social constructs 
to relieve the stress of the day. 

I am more or less content 
on my own little world 
of creation. 

But when I have the urge 
to communicate to more than myself 
or my little furry companion 

I feel lost in space 
as my messages in various mediums 
seem to go unanswered. 

Unnoticed. 

In some cases, 
forgotten. 

As I nestle into my bed 
and say my mantra aloud 
that I am not alone. 

The tendrils, 
those dark and suffocating tendrils 
of those darker parts of the cerebellum 
whisper the word...

gimmick 

gimmick

gimmick 

you are a gimmick. 

I can pride myself that I am somewhat a part of a variety of networks
and worlds that I can visit and see more than the one of monsters, 
gods, and things long gone from this Earth. 

But

those whispers get to me 
and feed the doubt 
on the human question 
that I matter. 

I know I matter to my universe 
and those that are tied to me in blood. 

But those worlds
outside my wide and cold glass windows,

am I more that just that strange but hilarious guy. 
A decent cook. 
Says somethings that make you think
or can make you laugh. 

These past years seem to be the autumn
for people change and leave 
and all I have are the memories 
stuck on my branches. 

But sometimes I feel like a fossil on display. 
My mighty bones inspire the young 
but to those who are elder
they just the bones of a fearsome creature 
that is no longer on this Earth. 

But that isn't true. 
I'm still here. 
I still have a story. 

I'm more than just a strange form of bones 
than just the gimmick 
to escape a rainy afternoon.