Honestly

Honestly 

Life is good. 
Great even. 

The few blips of uncontrolled 
misfortune I have encountered though,
has made my mind 
wander 
into a forbidden realm 
that has only been recently boarded up. 

Small little whispers on the wind 
make me feel panic. 

That's not me anymore. 
I did my time as that person 
and I survived. 

But the scars 
like trenches 
on the ocean floor....
....still remain

And in those remaining crevasses 
the things of the abyss 
look on at me. 

I can still see them down there 
with their beady eyes 
and comforting darkness that those waters 
can bring. 

But I know its a trap, 
for even though they are content 
to remain in their realm of the dark, 
they will always thirst for the tears, 
the fear, 
the pain, 
the depression
that can bring even the strongest souls
to buckle down 
and wish for dreamless sleep. 

They live in waters that freeze me on contact 
and burn away others who try to swim and save me. 

I know how to swim 
and that knowledge is how 
I know that there is still hope for me

to continue 
to wander 
to grow

But in these fleeting hours of loss and
realizing the change of tides..

...have I truly accepted it? 

Or in my rush to leave the void 
I left something in the deep dark places
that is just waiting for the right time 
to rise 
and feed 
due to my own established self confidence?