Stepping Stone

Stepping Stone 

As the laughter of youthful children 
echo in an otherwise empty
place of play 
I jump from space to space 
like stepping stones 
in a game where you can't cross
unless you 
are blue. 

And this innocent act 
allowed my auto-pilot 
to encounter more haunting specters
that my anxiety 
and depression 
that god awful silence that stains 
my memory 
where it took not just the story 
that recently unfolded
but all of them 
from that damn cat, 
to the one that brought balance
to the impossible girl that brought me down from the cloud. 
Even the one that I spent a year with 
and the one that turned on me when it was she 
that was the key that unlocked the true monsters
that were lurking in the darker places of my soul. 

It makes me question 
am I simply a stepping stone? 
As I hold someone close, 
I fail to realize how weak my foundations truly are 
and the pressure of feeling underfoot 
as I see that my own world, 
my world of storms 
simply propels people away 
into greener pastures. 

Its not like there is any time for me to recover 
its the same story every time, 
as I am a sinking ship 
trying to stay afloat in a ocean that is unforgiving 
of my adventurous spirit
as I see the people that I viewed as a crew 
leave

There are some that stay
but I fear they will drown 
if I don't figure a way to keep afloat. 

Sometimes I wonder if that is my true purpose? 
To simply be the stepping stone for people who were in a bad place
and I help them find better places 
while I stay stuck in the limbo 
of the worst that a soul can sink 
and the best that a soul can bloom