A Year

A Year 

has gone by since that afternoon sunset
where I went to sleep only to wake up
to the hiss of a kettle
and the urge for a friendly tea time.

A year has gone by
since that tear filled phone call
and worrying friends
while I recovered from my own
loss of self control.

I sit here in a foreign land
and I weep quite tears of seeing two stupid pictures
of happiness for someones once dear to me.

Boy have I lost a lot in the year that has gone.
Friends,
lovers,
chances,
opportunities,
and hell....
I nearly lost my soul.

But I have been reminded of what I do have,
family,
my memories of happier days,
the stories that still keep me strong,
and most importantly,
loving my own broken soul.

And what I have gained,
is so much more heartbreak
so much more fear
and so much faith in that this hardship
this road that I'm walking on
is going to reward me in ways
I can not even try and understand.

For the most part,
I don't think I've ever truly been happy.
But as I walk in the days of my re-birthday
I shed a tear and force a smile to nurture,
because there are still many more years to come
and even though my life will always be a struggle
I think I'm finally starting to come and accept
that simple little fact